Big Girl Job: On the Hunt for the Elusive… Vol . 2: Thinking Outside the Bun

Big Girl Job: On the Hunt for the Elusive…

Vol . 2: Thinking Outside the Bun

Your first job.  Dreams of something fancy, glamorous and sexy are no doubt swirling through your head.  You imagine that when you whip out your business cards from that suave holder you picked up at Bergdorf Goodman (naturally you'll be living the Patrick Bateman-esque high life in New York City or some other upscale metropolitan locale), the opposite sex will be tripping over themselves to buy you an expensive cocktail of sorts.  You'll show up to office around 8 a.m., take a long, expensive lunch  with your equally glamorous and sexy coworkers (on your expense account, nonetheless), and leave around 6 p.m.  Just in time to grab a cab and dash off to make your reservations at some swanky restaurant that turns into a lounge after dinner service.  You'll get to bed sometime around 1 a.m., get up the next morning and do it all over again. Sound nice?  Pull your head out of the clouds, princess.  Unless you graduated Summa Cum Laude from an Ivy League school, one of your immediate family members just happens to be the C.E.O. of a Fortune 50 company/major securities firm, or your family is just plain loaded and willing to fund your debauchery until you're able to achieve a salary that will maintain that lifestyle on your own, you're stuck down in the dirt with the rest of us. 

If you're like most college upper classmen, your primary concern as of this exact moment is more than likely to be planning an "epic" weekend.  Whether this is hiking the barely covered mountains to find some pre-season snow, checking out a concert, seeing a movie, drinking to your heart’s content, or all of the above, is quite irrelevant.  As mentioned in a previous article, some of that time between now and your "epic" weekend should be spent thinking about your post-graduation plans.  The focus of this month's article, however, is not to preach to you in generalized terms that you should be thinking about it.  Hopefully you've wizened up a little and started grinding your mental gears in the direction of some semblance of a plan.  This month will be dedicated entirely towards the idea of employment, where to look, how to get there, and how to think outside the bun enough to find yourself in a position that you love, or that at the very least one that you can tolerate.

The first misstep that most college students make when looking and applying for positions, as I mentioned in my previous article, is reading the job description and neglecting the requirements.   Most entry level positions boast job descriptions that a fairly well-trained circus animal could  meet, and you may think that certain classes that you've taken qualify you as having the necessary experience to obtain certain jobs.  However, if you can't prove on your very limited resume that you have the necessary qualifications stipulated in the job requirements, no employer is going to take a second look at your resume. 

Allow me a moment to put things in perspective for those of you who have never been on the other end of the hiring process.  First, a meeting (or series of meetings) is held in order to determine what position(s) is(are) available, what the job description is , how much the person will be paid, and how many positions are necessary to bring the company to the optimal level of employee capacity.  Then, once all those details are hammered out, an ad is placed.  Then the resume submissions start coming in.  By hundreds, and sometimes by the thousands.  Each resume has to be screened for qualifications.  The initial "Yes" resumes are placed in one pile, and the "No" resumes in another to be kept "on file" and stored for the mandatory six months that the federal government requires.  The "Yes" resumes are then more carefully screened to determine which candidates are to be called in for a series of interviews.  Depending on the company and the candidates selected, this process can include anywhere from one to three interviews either by phone, in person, or sometimes even video conference. 

While this all sounds very generic and simple, consider the undertaking of these human resources employees.  Going through resumes is an exhausting process, and when the pile in front of you is brushing the ceiling, you will do nearly anything to make the process go by faster.  A spelling mistake? In the "No" pile.  Grammar mistake? "No" pile.  Imperfection in your formatting? "No" pile.  The list of small infractions that land you in the “No” pile is seemingly endless; and because there are so many candidates applying to the company, it’s easy to throw one out because of a lack of attention to detail.  Think about it this way: for every position that becomes available, there are at least five people applying for it, and you can bet that at least three of them have spent hours custom-tailoring their resume to fit every specification, qualification, and requirement listed in the job description. The broken record asks, “Where does this leave you?”  Here are some basic ways to help you save yourself some time, and more than likely some disappointment, in your job hunt.  1.  Look at the requirements for relevant experience.  If they are asking for 5+ years of experience in a related field, your college degree is going to mean diddly squat to them.  They obviously want someone who is tried and true in the field.  Don’t bother applying to this one.  2. Make sure you are able to complete most, if not all, of the tasks listed in the requirements section.  Dreamweaver, and that’s listed as a requirement, don’t bother applying.  3. Make sure what you’re putting on your resume is relevant to the position.  If you are applying for an analyst position with Deloitte & Touche in Austin, TX in their human capital division, it’s rather unlikely that they will want to hear about how you were able to bus tables like nobody’s business at  Chili’s.  Unless you were in a management or some kind of administrative position, it will be as irrelevant to them as the price of rice in China.  Which leads me to my next point; how do you make your resume stand out from the rest?

Resumes are a dime a dozen.  Everyone has one, and most of them are crap.  One thing that is so often overlooked when seeking a job is the formatting and content of a resume.  If you pulled it from a template in Microsoft Word, chances are your resume is laughable and looks like it was put together by a  five-year-old.  Education section first?  Giggle.  Extraneous information abound?  Chuckle.  Irrelevant and altogether pathetic work experience listed? Laugh.  Objective Tagline instead of Position Sought?  Potential for a company-wide email exploiting your stupidity for everyone else’s amusement.  I’ve seen it happen.  In order to avoid such unknowing embarrassment, there are select and very simple guidelines to follow.  Make sure your work experience is listed first and foremost.  That is what the employer cares about the most.  Can you do the job they’re asking you?  Yes or No.  List your education second.  Unless you’ve received an inordinate amount of higher education, this section should be fairly small and to the point.  And ALWAYS make sure to list any certificates, awards, or other extracurricular activities.  This shows them that you actually are a human and not just a robot that will say “does not compute” when presented with a foreign task.  Also, make sure you list things that show that you actually have a work ethic.  Unless you’re applying for a job as a production assistant, I doubt any company is going to care that you enjoy watching movies in your spare time.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  The career center at your university should be able to help you out with this kind of thing,

Now that you’ve been thoroughly bored with things that you may believe to be common sense, let’s get to the good stuff.  You’ve got your resume in order (God willing…), and you’re ready to start hitting the send button on those online applications and emails. Where are you going to find jobs? And how are you going to determine what you are and are not qualified for? At this juncture, you should have some semblance of an idea of what you want to do.  Look at your strengths and play to them.  If you have worked in restaurants for most of your college career, and completed a rather underwhelming internship that is unlikely to get you anywhere, do not despair.  Restaurants and food service is a multi-billion dollar industry with more facets than the Hope Diamond, and you can look to each one of them as a potential career path.  If the actual restaurant doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, you can go work for a food distributor like Sysco or Nicolas.  Or, if you have the right combination of experience and education, you may be able to get in with a restaurant consulting firm. 

The specifics of my example are irrelevant.  The point is every industry has many facets and different ways to get in.  And you have to look at all of them.  Think outside the bun and get creative with things.  You may find yourself discovering a niche in the market that you didn’t even know existed and that was seemingly made just for you.  Just make sure your resume looks good enough, and that you can fulfill all the requirements of the position, so the company will actually consider hiring you. 

- Kelly Sabey